What I'm writing: Chapter 10 (new version)
My writing has slowed to a crawl for a variety of reasons: some new plot ideas; reading a book that makes me afraid the author's voice, which I envy to the nth degree, will bleed over into mine, so I have to step back and read something entirely different. Or, it's just plain hot. I've never really adjusted to the Florida climate. I grew up in the more desert-like environs of Southern California, and humidity is NOT my friend.
So, today I'm going to share something I found tucked away in my computer.
YOU KNOW YOU ARE IN FLORIDA in AUGUST WHEN...
~ The birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.
~ The trees are whistling for the dogs.
~ The best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.
~ Hot water now comes out of both taps.
~ You can make sun tea instantly.
~ You learn that a seat belt buckle makes a pretty good branding iron.
~ The temperature drops below 95 and you feel a little chilly.
~ You discover that in August it only takes 2 fingers to steer your car.
~ You discover that you can get sunburned through your car window.
~ You actually burn your hand opening the car door.
~ You break into a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m.
~ Your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"
~ You realize that asphalt has a liquid state.
~ The potatoes cook underground, so all you have to do is pull one out and
add butter, salt and pepper.
~ Farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying
~ The cows are giving evaporated milk.The good news? August is almost over. The bad news? September is usually hotter.