Fun With Rhetoric

What I'm reading: Surrender at Dawn, by Laura Griffen (Nook)

Many of us (not saying me, mind you) remember those grammar and rhetorical device lessons from our English classes. You know, things like analogies, metaphors, similes, and the like. Well, today, as my last "writing-related" post of 2011, I thought I'd share a fun one: paraprosdokian. Everyone could use a smile or two.

Disclaimer: Hubster sent this via email, and I don't have sources for the examples.

A paraprosdokian sentence consists of two parts where the first is a figure of speech and the second an intriguing variation of the first. They're used typically for humorous or dramatic effect.

- Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

- Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

- The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it's still on the list


- If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

- We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

- Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

- The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

- How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

- Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity they can train people to stand at the edge of a pool and throw fish.

- I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

- Women will never be equal to men till they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut and still think they're sexy.

- A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

- You don't need a parachute to skydive, but you do need one to skydive again.

- The voices in my head may be fake, but they have good ideas!

- Hospitality is making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.

- I scream the same way whether I'm about to be eaten by a shark or seaweed touches my foot.

- Some cause happiness wherever they go, others whenever they go.

- There's a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can't get away.

- You're never too old to learn something stupid.

And here's a quick quiz. This is an example of another rhetorical device.
Abso-blooming-lutely (I cleaned it up a bit for this blog!)

Anyone know what the term is? If you do, email me at contest @ terryodell .com (remove spaces). Don't give it away in the comments. There will be a prize!

If I can scrounge up some pictures, there will be another Friday Field Trip tomorrow.

Meanwhile, I'd love a nice round number of followers to ring out 2011. My goal of 500 might have been a bit lofty, but goals can be revised. What about 425?

Enjoy your weekend, and be safe!

Image credit for this blog: Painting depicting a lecture in a knight academy, painted by Pieter Isaacsz or Reinhold Timm for Rosenborg Castle as part of a series of seven paintings depicting the seven independent arts. This painting illustrates rhetorics

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