Thursday, May 27, 2010

Cover Copy #1 - Excerpts

Wildlife report: raccoon got onto the deck while we slept. Broke the seed bird feeder and spilled a bunch of the hummingbird nectar – he left sticky paw prints all over the deck. Then a woodpecker pecked a nice chunk out of the door jamb. But the bear and the mountain lion passed us by.

I got an email from my editor for WHERE DANGER HIDES about the excerpts I'd submitted to her.

She's got a better handle on what the publisher wants than I do. I'm still dealing with the fact that although they publish romance, and they include sex-on-the-page scenes, they don't want you to use the word penis. It's a reader thing—and they ought to know their readers. It's also a reviewer thing--more on that Monday. Since that's their job, not mine, I follow the rules.

So, although the voting was overwhelmingly in favor of excerpt #1, my editor felt selection #2 would be more appropriate for the target audience. And since I know none of you remembers the excerpts, much less which was which, here it is:

As soon as he opened his mouth, Miri knew it was Texas. Had he recognized her? Afraid to study his face, she ducked her head, painfully aware she was blushing. Where was his Aussie boyfriend? Right. As if she really believed the two men were a couple. They'd been up to something in the study, and it wasn't sex.

He leaned on the back of the chair next to hers. The essence of sandalwood removed any doubt of his identity.

"We're both a little out of place here, aren't we?" he said. "Age-wise, I mean."

She shrugged, trying to ignore the way his drawl heated her insides.

"You didn't answer my question. Would you like a drink? Or a dance?

If she recognized his voice, he'd know hers. She shook her head and pointed to her throat. "Laryngitis," she whispered.

"Ah," he said. "I have just the thing."

Her comments: It gave enough of a hint of the flavor of the novel and enticed readers with the tension to come between Dalton and Miri.

I certainly hope so! And if you really want to see the other 3 choices, they're here

Next task--and perhaps the most dreaded, with the possible exception of sending out submissions and getting rejections -- cover quotes. I'll be back with that on Monday. The bulk of the painting is done, and the contractors are elsewhere today, so I'm taking advantage of some peace and quiet. Tomorrow's Friday Field Trip promises to be something totally different. Cleo Coyle is back, and we're going to tour her kitchen. And if you're taking off for the long weekend--enjoy. But please stop by when you can.


jdcoughlin said...

I don't like the word penis. It's too stark for me. I prefer something less sterile, you know? I want it more personable. No cute nicknames, though. PS Love the excerpt. There is definite tension, and more I want to know.

Terry Odell said...

jd - I guess that's why the publishers don't like it. That word doesn't bother me -- although for some strange reason, I have trouble with the female anatomy.

Glad you liked the excerpt - hope you'll start with When Danger Calls--where you can first meet Dalton.

Mason Canyon said...

I understand the problem with raccoons and other wildlife taking over sometimes. Good luck on your next mission - hopefully a quick acceptance and no rejections. Looking forward to Friday's Field Trip.

Thoughts in Progress

Terry Odell said...

Mason-hubby's disappointed we didn't see the bears or the mountain lion! The homeowners' association sends emails when mountain lions are spotted as a warning.

Carol Kilgore said...

I laughed out loud reading your wildlife report. I told my sister I felt as if I was dropped back in time a little re-experiencing my first mountain days. Wait until you DO see a bear on your deck.

Ray said...

I think the excerpt will definitely sell you book.


Jacqueline Seewald said...

I believe the reason that Five Star editorial nixes "penis" is because erotic fiction is more graphic in sexual language and they publish romance not eroticism. There is a distinction made. Of course, I have seen some pretty explicit language in many romance novels which are not considered erotic. I guess it just depends.

Maribeth said...

Wildlife update takes me back. It was all laughs though.
Loved the excerpt -- disappointed I couldn't go on. Will take your advice about starting with When Danger Calls.
Giggles and Guns

Terry Odell said...

Jacqueline- trust me, I don't write erotica. Not by a long shot. My Cerridwen books barely garner two flames -- and since their parent company is Ellora's Cave, they'd definitely have told me if they wanted it published under that imprint. And I toned my Five Star book down from the level of the Cerridwen books, so they're even farther away from erotic. And we won't even get into the deep POV considerations for vocabulary. :-)

Terry Odell said...

Maribeth - Glad you were enticed -- and please take advantage of my sale on When Danger Calls -- either directly through me or through Amazon.

Terry Odell said...

Maribeth - Glad you were enticed -- and please take advantage of my sale on When Danger Calls -- either directly through me or through Amazon.

Carol - I think hubby's idea is a bear in the yard or across the street--not up on the deck!

Ray - I hope you're right!

Wynter Daniels said...

I remember this story. I really liked it and so will readers!
Raccoons and squirrels are ingenious at getting food. It's tough to keep them away.

Terry Odell said...

Wynter - thanks! And the deer are pretty ingenious too.

Katie Reus said...

As a reader I definitely don't mind the word penis but since you know what I write, that's not too shocking. I think you've got a great excerpt! Very nice hook :)

Terry Stonecrop said...

Great excerpt. It has tension and it draws you in.

Funny racoon story. Wild Kingdom in your own backyard!

Terry Odell said...

Thanks, Katie & TerryS - hope you'll give both books a shot.

Hubster bought 2 replacement bird feeders today. We'll see how long they survive. He might be bringing them in at night.

Jemi Fraser said...

Raccoons can create such a mess - they're such inventive, creative creatures :)

I like the excerpt - the characters are quite visible in only a few lines.

Terry Odell said...

Thanks, Jemi. And yes, raccoons are wily critters.