The Power of Point of View

I’d like to welcome Vonnie Davis to my blog today. Vonnie is a romance author of contemporary, historical and romantic suspense. She’s also held workshops on Savvy Authors. Today, she's offering her insights on one of my favorite topics, Point of View. And while she's here, I'm doing my monthly post at The Blood-Red Pencil.

Thank you for having me, Terry.

I’d like to share some thoughts about the bane of my existence when I first began writing full time—point of view.

You see, I’d majored in English and retired as a technical writer. So I knew how to craft a sentence. What I didn’t know was the craft of writing. Character arc? Conflict resolution? Dialog tags and beats? GMC? Isn’t that a truck? Point of view? After all the classical literature I’d studied, I certainly knew about that. I was good to go.

Yes, folks, I was blissfully ignorant.

My soon-to-be agent phoned to tell me I had some real point of view issues. When I told her I was using third person omniscient, I’m sure I heard her fall out of her chair laughing.

My learning curve just shot upward at a forty-five degree angle.

Gee, and I thought I knew so much.

And the Winners Are ...

Congratulations to the winner of my April Grab Bag Contest, LOUISE. A big envelope of goodies will be headed your way.

And the winner of my "Mystery" book from last Wednesday's post is ... BRUCE. Bruce, email me with your address so I can send your prize.

Because so many wanted to know more about the book in question: it's "The Switch" by Sandra Brown. For the record, the fact that I used the book as an example of an exercise in point of view shouldn't be construed as a plug for the book. Regular readers here know I keep my opinions off the blog, so whether or not you (or I) think it's a good read wasn't the point. It was mentioned merely as lesson in POV.

Hiding your POV character

What I'm reading: The Eagle Catcher, by Margaret Coel.

Thanks to Sharon for those wonderful insights into the inner workings of a Navy SEAL.

I recently read a book by a very well-known romance/romantic suspense author and it gave me another look at what a writer can do with Point of View. Deep Point of View means the reader sees and knows only what the character sees and knows. Yet it's possible to deliver only the information that the author wants to disclose while still being in that character's head.

First, it's a testament to this author's skill that although I knew I was being set up, and had a pretty good idea of the final twist, I wasn't tempted to stop to analyze the 'hows' or look for clues or slipups as I read. But once I got to the end, and my suspicions were confirmed, I went back to see whether the author had in fact, "cheated" in her use of POV.

And, no, she hadn't. Which is probably why she's a best-selling author. And if you'll leave a comment, I'll enter you in a drawing to win my copy of this "mystery" book so you can see for yourself.

I don't normally like spoilers, but there's really no way to demonstrate the author's technique without giving away some major plot points. I won't name the book or the author, but you may recognize it if you've read it. If not, and if you do read it, I hope I haven't given too much away. As I said, I figured it out very early on, and the story is still a good one regardless of whether or not you know the 'truth.'

POV Q&A

February might be the shortest month, but in my family, it was always a busy one. Not only did we have Washinton's Birthday and Lincoln's Birthday (now combined into President's Day), but there's Groundhog Day (if you're a reader of this blog, you'll know why that's something I celebrate), Valentine's Day, my mom's birthday, two cousins' birthdays (one is 6 days older than I am, the other is exactly 5 year younger), and my birthday.

To celebrate all these occasions, I'm having a "non-contest" this month. Everyone can win. All you need to do is click the "Contest" tab above for your prize.

And now, back to writing.

Some POV exercises

Looking over some of yesterday's comments, there were a couple that mentioned authors re-telling the same scene from each character's point of view. I think this can be used as a plot device, especially if there's a very different perception of what happened in the scene, but as mentioned yesterday, it might not work for everyone.

I wrote a short vignette of the same scene from two points of view. It ended up being my first published piece. (If you haven't read "Words", it's free from Smashwords, which includes it's distribution affiliates, as well as All Romance eBooks. It started because I couldn't decide which POV to use, so I tried both. Often, when a scene isn't working, it could be because you're in the wrong POV. So, for an exercise, take a scene you're working on and write it from a different POV.

Short Cycling

Thanks, Ana for sharing your experiences with us. I'm so out of touch with that market, I wouldn't know how to begin--but you gave us some great pointers.

Yesterday was one of very few wintery days we've had since moving up to the mountains. It looked like a drizzly day, except it was snow, not rain. Since I had nowhere to go more important than the mailbox, and since 90% of our mail is junk anyway, I saw no reason to leave the house. There was plenty to see from my window.

And, with the temperatures in the negatives and highs in the single digits, staying inside was definitely the way to go. Coming from a climate where air conditioning ran about 9 months out of the year, getting used to heat—and gas heat—is new for us. One thing we noticed when we first had to use the heat was that it didn't simply kick on in the morning (we run it much lower at night) and run until the house was at the daytime temperature. And, during the day, once it had reached our set temperature, it tended to cycle off and on after only a matter of minutes.

We called in the heating guy and he said, "Oh, you're short-cycling"—a new term for us. And as I was reviewing the revisions for my manuscript, I noticed something similar had happened when I considered Point of View.

I know I've discussed POV here before, and my preferences. I've always been a one scene per POV character, and I don't like a lot of characters commandeering the page when I read or write. In my romantic suspenses, I follow convention and have two POV characters—hero and heroine.

When I undertook this new project, the editor's vision had two main characters mentioned in the brief synopsis I'd been given. I asked if they were both POV characters, or if, like most mysteries, I should choose the one that seemed dominant according to the outline.

The response was to use two, and to write it in third person. Since I'm comfortable with that, I had no problem. I was also glad she didn't say to use as many POV characters as I wanted. There are many authors who can bounce between 5 or 6 POV characters, but I've never cared for writing that way. I like to believe that my readers are getting caught up in my characters, and every time there's a switch, it makes them stop and regroup.(Note: changing POV characters is not necessarily head-hopping. If your transitions are smooth and clear, you can move from one character to another. Sticking with one per scene is personal preference. Not. A. Rule.

Wrapping up POV

Thanks to Tom for sharing his new project. I hope everyone had a chance to read it--and took the 3 minutes to watch the video clip, and check out his blog. As a parent and a former teacher, I couldn't help but feel the passion he has for dealing with these deplorable conditions.

As promised, here's the analysis of yesterday's over the top example of writing without understanding the need for a consistent point of view. This is an example of an attempt at third person point of view.

Mary entered the room. John thought she was the most amazing woman he'd ever seen. Mary walked past without seeing him. She went straight to the patio where the buffet was set up. Seeing trays heaped with caviar, her favorite delicacy, she picked up a plate and waited in line. The breeze ruffled the floral chiffon of her dress. She wondered if her long auburn hair would get mussed. No, she thought. She'd sprayed it with enough hairspray to withstand a hurricane. She scooped caviar onto her plate as John stepped into line behind her, a smile on his face. A tiny furrow appeared in her brow, and her green eyes narrowed.

Let's take it line by line, looking only at point of view.

More on Point of View

OK - first things first. The New Kitchen! If you want to see a bunch more pictures, including some "Before" shots, click here.





I thought I'd continue with my POV notes as I get ready for tonight's Savvy Writers chat. Yesterday, I gave a brief "definition" of the basic point of view options. Today, a little more detail about each one. And again, any suggestions are appreciated.

Savvy Point of VIew

What I'm reading: First Cases, Volume 3, edited by Robert J. Randisi

Thanks, Jacqui for your great advice yesterday. Definitely some good takeaway truths.

And just because this is my blog, I thought I'd share a picture of another visitor to our home yesterday. I'm sure I could have figured out a clever tie-in to today's topic, but--I didn't. Feel free to suggest one.

Right about now, a few thousand writers, agents, publishers and assorted book people will be in Orlando for the annual Romance Writers of America Conference. Of course, thousands more won't be making the trip, myself included.

A writing site, Savvy Writers, is holding an on-line symposium for those who won't be at nationals, and I volunteered to host a one hour chat on Point of View. At the time, it seemed like fun. POV was one of my first writing "lessons" and I'm probably overly aware of it when I read. Now that the chat is looming, I'm trying to figure out how to handle information exchange during a live chat. For the most part, you can only post a few lines—a short paragraph at most—and it's a "chat" not a lecture or a workshop. I'd love some help

Handling Transitions

What I'm reading: Better Late than Never, by Savannah Stuart

Thanks to Lynda for her intriguing post yesterday. Don't forget, she's giving away a copy of one of her books to a commenter. Scroll down and read yesterday's post, leave a comment there, and then come on back. You have until Thursday. Lynda will select a winner, and I'll announce it on Friday.

Last week, I mentioned transitions, and how everything has to flow.
In our house, we have small areas of tile at the entry doors and in front of the two fireplaces. The rest of the flooring is newly installed ¾ inch hardwood. One of the challenges the contractors faced was making sure the transition between tile and wood was smooth, because the new hardwood was thicker than the pre-existing laminate flooring.

In your manuscript, you have to decide how you're going to get from one place to the next. My writing style tends to be write it, then juggle it. The danger is that things will get choppy. I don't want my tile mixed in with the wood.

Transitions, Detours and POV

First -- Glad to see so many new followers. Welcome! There's coffee and brownies on the sideboard, so help yourself. And Cleo – thanks so much for being my guest yesterday, and for all the great responses. You're definitely among friends here, and I hope you'll visit often. How many readers tried or will try those recipes?

Today should be the last day of painting, except for touch-ups as some of the demolition/replacement work takes place. I'll be glad to be finished with paint fumes for a while.

I've talked about writing environments, and those things that get a writer into the zone. Maybe it's the right playlist, or the right chair, or turning off the e-mail. Whatever it is, for many of us, we want it to "feel" right when we write.

Keeping the Author Invisible

First news: I received an email from the publisher for Where Danger Hides letting me know it'll be released a month early. So look for it in May of 2011, not June. This right after I got an email from my editor saying:

The novel is extremely clean and one of the most enjoyable edits I've had in a long time! Thank you for writing such a great novel, Terry!:-) I'll be in touch by the end of the week with the edits.

Quick personal customer service rant – on Monday, we'd spent hours getting our communications package set up. Most of what we ordered is hooked up at the house itself. But we did order 2 new cell phones. The company doesn't have them in stock at their mall outlet, so they ordered them and said they should be in Wednesday. Cutting to the chase, we did get them, but not easily, and not without 3 phone calls, the first two of which gave us incorrect information. But, we have the phones, and we'll deal with switching not only phones but carriers. I imagine it'll be a steep learning curve. After all, the provider offers classes in learning to use the phone. I don't think that would be necessary if it was intuitive.

OK – back to writing.

I wrote the first scene of chapter two, then let it sit overnight. But, as it tends to happen, lying in bed, I realized I had omitted some important tension between the characters. In the scene, the heroine is observing the hero and the way he's interacting with his sick child. My error was that I knew why the hero was behaving the way he was, which influenced what I wrote. But the heroine didn't, and she was superimposing her own interpretations based on her own experiences. I hadn't shown that, even though I was inside her head in the scene. It's important for the author to remember to keep off the page. That was the next day's rewriting.

Writing In the Moment

What I'm reading: Deeper Than the Dead, by Tami Hoag

When I read, I want to be immersed in the story. I want to see what the characters see, worry with them, rejoice with them, and follow them from Chapter 1 to The End. Too many characters, too many switches and the emotional connections get diluted.

For me, the key word is "follow." I'm a fan of deep Point of View, although if an author switches viewpoints smoothly, I don't mind. I don't care much for POV characters brought in for one or two scenes; I'd rather see them having a vested interest in what's going on, so I can care about them too. When I read those scenes, I'm often pulled away wondering if the author couldn't have found a way to convey that information via one of the main characters.

For example, I've been working on writing (and rewriting) the last two scenes of my book, trying to make sure I've got the right characters on the page at the right time. I've got two major plot threads to tie up, and the characters with the information the reader needs aren't in the same place.

September Giveaway and more Point of View

What I'm reading: Eternal Pleasure, by Nina Bangs

First, thanks to Lorena for her post on Point of View -- and for triggering the idea for this month's "contest."

It's not a contest at all, but a giveaway. My first sale was a short-short story called, "Words" which began as an exercise in Point of View. Actually, it began as what was supposed to be a light-hearted story based on an experience I had with hubby while eating at our local Chinese restaurant. We always order hot and sour soup, and this time it was spicier than usual, and my eyes were watering. I asked hubby if my mascara was running. He said (believe it or not), "You're wearing mascara?" My response was, "Are we out of the house?" Now, at the time, we'd been married over 30 years, and had shared a bathroom for much of that.


However, when I started writing the scene, the character took over and it emerged as a much more 'literary' piece. It was very short—under 1000 words, and I thought I'd see if I liked it better from "her" point of view. It evolved into a he-says, she-says sort of piece, and the Wild Rose Press, which was just starting up at the time, offered a contract. Several years later, their format no longer accepts stories that short, and it's no longer available.

So, to commemorate that sale, I will offer a download of "Words" to anyone who buys any two of my short stories from The Wild Rose Press. Details are on my website, where you can look at each, and get a "Behind the Scenes" look at the story behind the story.

Keep Reading...

Point of View is near and dear to me, as it was my very first writing lesson after I tried my hand at a piece of fan fiction. Although I'd been an avid reader, I'd never paid a whole lot of attention beyond the obvious – 1st vs. 3rd. But my mentor soon pointed out some of the basics of what it means to stay in the head of a character, and I've been sensitive to it, both in my work and in the work of others since then. Shoddy POV now is a definite read-stopper for me. If I like the characters I'll stick with it. If the story's compelling enough, I'll stay with it. But I might not return to that author.

Yet, I'll bet most of the non-writer readers out there are as oblivious as I was to the mechanics. Still, how many times have you read a book that you just couldn't get into? It's quite likely the author didn't handle POV in a way that kept you in the characters' heads.

I've caught up with my 'non-wip' writing. I sent a copy of an older manuscript to my new editor, and will be looking forward to finalizing the contract details and seeing her take on my updates.

Also, I managed to get another manuscript plus synopsis put together so that it fell within the combined word count required for a contest. It's like going back to my pre-published days, but with a wrinkle. Normally, an agent or editor will ask for X number of pages or chapters, and a synopsis which may or may not have a page limit. My standard synopsis for my agent's guidelines for submission was about three single-spaced pages. But with a total word count, that long of a synopsis would mean severely limiting how many manuscript pages I could submit.

It became a balancing act, finding a page-turning point in the manuscript that came early enough to allow for a synopsis that still would meet all the judging criteria set forth in the score sheet. (At least I found the score sheet before I had to submit the entry!) And, since my writing style does not include thrusting hero and heroine together on page 1 (or even page 20), in order for the romance elements to be clear, I definitely needed more than a one-page synopsis. I'm satisfied that I did the best I could do. Now it's a waiting game.

Meanwhile, hubby and I drove up to St. Augustine Beach. He's got a 3-day meeting, the room is paid for, and I thought a change of scenery might rev up the writing engine, so I'm not home at my desk. I figure I can hole up in the hotel room and work out some of the back story I find I need now that I know who my villain is. I'm utilizing a charting technique that combines things I've gleaned from workshops given by Rhonda Pollero and Barbara Parker, where I can make sure I've got motives for a number of characters, thus keeping the mystery from being too obvious.

My next obstacle to overcome is how my bad guy will find and threaten the other characters, and how the cop will discover the critical clue that will have him charging to the rescue. Or will my other characters manage to get themselves out of the hot water I'll put them in?

The weather, typically Floridian, is conducive to staying indoors and working. Plus, this hotel has something I haven't seen in any other hotels—a lap desk. Not only that, but there's an electrical outlet right beside the bed. Now, if I can just avoid spending too many hours with the US Open, which is on one of the channels the hotel provides.

The hotel also has free wireless Internet, which means I can continue to post to the blog this week, so please keep coming back. I'll let you know how my writing escape is going. And Detective Hussey's post for Friday is already in the hopper.

Who's in First? Who's in Third?

Help me welcome my guest, author Lorena Streeter, to Terry's Place today. We've talked about Point of View here before -- let's see another take on the subject.

My perspective...vs her point of view: writing 1st person vs writing 3rd

Unhappy with the way my heroine was behaving—or at least my writing about her behaving—I took a leap this summer from the world of 3rd person point of view (POV) to the world of 1st person POV.

It was a little like stepping off a stair without noticing the ground was six inches farther away than I'd thought. So, for what it's worth, here are some of the things I didn't expect to find when I switched to telling "my" story instead of "hers."

1. 1st person changed the story. I expected the POV change to limit the story, but I didn't expect the story to gain a whole new emphasis just because I couldn't portray anything the heroine (whose POV it is) wasn't privy to. If I wanted it in the story, either she had to be there, or someone had to tell her about it. This may be why traditional detective stories are often written in first person, and suspense novels (where the reader often knows whodunit before the protagonist does) usually aren't.

Because you aren't able to drop clues via the villain's (or victims') POV, you have to find a way to increase the heroine's awareness without making it obvious or lame. You have to build the suspense/horror/etc through the readers' identification with the heroine and what she (and no one else) is going through.

Keep Reading...

2. 1st person deepens the emotion. Because we're deep in her POV anyway, relaying her thoughts and feelings is simple—just remember to avoid the words "thought" and "felt." Okay, I expected that—in fact, it's the main reason I took the plunge. But then there's...

3. Sex. Here's what I didn't expect: that writing a simple kiss in the 1st person POV would be a challenge (I know, anyone who knows me is laughing at this. But 1st person is so...personal). My solution? Write the scene in 3rd (thanks to a suggestion from my critique partner) and then do the changeover.

4. 1st person makes it really hard to dig into the villain's motivation. It has to be done through the things that happen to the heroine, or are observed by her. On the other hand, it's a great test of storytelling skill to draw that picture through the small glimpses the heroine has.

5. Author intrusion. Easier to sneak in when you're writing in 3rd person. If I tell you my heroine went to a park, you have a particular image in your mind, just from reading the words. That image will probably change if, in 1st person, I tell you "I" sat down on a merry-go-round, the wobbly metal kind like I'd skinned my nose on in the 1st grade. For the story, that might be all that's important. Certainly, for the heroine, that's all that's important right now. But what about later, when I send her back to the same park, but the villain is hiding behind a tree? My heroine was so focused on her memory of Bobby Taylor pushing her down so she skinned her nose, she never noticed that right off the playground, the woods are really thick....In third person, I can impose some of what's important to me on what the heroine sees, and not have to make her notice that there are oak trees all around her...and so I can set the scene just a little bit for you.

Mostly, these are technical/mechanical details—the one challenge that really threw me was the first one I listed—how it actually changed the story. I'd expected to change certain things, naturally, because I knew the heroine wouldn't be able to see/hear/feel them. But I had not expected that removing the other two POVs I was using would shift the story into a completely different path...it taught me a lot about what my heroine was/is really doing in the story, although I don't recommend it as a way to dig into your heroine's goals and motivations. There are shorter ways to do that!

Lorena Streeter is a central Florida writer who writes romantic suspense with a paranormal twist. She also writes erotic romance and is published in that genre under the name Lara Dien. You can check out her writing blog—which generally reflects whatever she's thinking about at the time—at www.laradien.blogspot.com.

Counting Down to Hidden Fire Day 3

What I'm reading: The Enemy by Lee Child

Point of View. What is it? Does it matter?

Deciding who's telling the story, or even a scene, is one of the most important aspects of writing. I know it was my first lesson. At the time I was clueless. When I starting writing Hidden Fire, I began in Randy's head. Then I rewrote it in Sarah's.

First - from Randy's Point of View

"Did you enjoy the pie, Detective Detweiler?" Randy took his eyes off Sarah long enough to acknowledge the waiter's comment.

"Very much, Tony. Thanks." Tony refilled Randy's coffee cup and whisked away the empty plate. Randy's eyes returned to Sarah, who was still working on her dessert, doing his best to maintain a casual expression.

She brought the spoon, loaded with chocolate mousse, to her lips. Under the table, her toes found the cuff of his pants and inched their way up his calf. Damn, she'd been wearing shoes when they'd come in. Sensible work pumps. Randy imagined her toes, nails polished in demure pink, a silver ring on the second toe, continuing north. He clenched his jaw, glancing around the restaurant, certain everyone could tell he'd been out of town and womanless for weeks. No, not womanless. Sarahless. There had been plenty of women in San Francisco, but not one of them appealed to him the way the woman sitting across the booth in a poorly lit small-town restaurant did.

Even in the dim light, he saw the splash of freckles across her nose and cheeks. Her stone blue eyes reflected the glimmer of the standard restaurant candle-in-a-jar on the table.

To the casual onlooker, Sarah Tucker appeared to be a demure businesswoman, looking exactly like a woman who spent her days running a small gift boutique. But over the past few months, he'd gotten to know the other side—the warm, sensuous side—of one of Pine Hills' shopkeepers.

She wore a navy-blue blazer over a pale blue silk blouse. Beneath the table, her practical pants hid what he knew was a pair of attractive, well-shaped legs. He'd already noticed the absence of a panty line and wondered what he'd find when he slipped her slacks over her hips.

The mousse-laden spoon bobbed in front of her mouth. With her free hand, Sarah fingered the pearl button at her neck.

"It's warm in here, isn't it?" One button, then a second, slipped through its hole, revealing the tiniest glimpse of the swell of her breasts. He leaned forward, catching a hint of lace.

"You're killing me," he whispered.

Her tongue wrapped around the mousse. Her eyes closed. She sighed.

He shifted in his seat. "You're going to finish that, aren't you?" he asked.

Without opening her eyes, she said, "Every bite. It's chocolate. Some things shouldn't be rushed."

And now, the same scene from Sarah's Point of View

Under the table, Sarah’s toes found the cuff of Randy’s pants and inched their way up his calf, the coarse hair tickling her foot. His eyes widened, his eyebrows arched and the standard restaurant candle-in-a-jar caught the hazel flecks in his otherwise brown eyes. He brushed a lock of hair from his forehead, but it flopped back the way it always did.

She smiled at the hovering waiter, placed her hand over her empty coffee cup and shook her head. No more, Tony. Thanks.”

Tony refilled Randy’s coffee cup and whisked away his empty pie plate. Randy’s eyes returned to Sarah, moving between her dessert and her face. He smiled, but she could sense his impatience. She continued her torment by dipping her spoon into the chocolate mousse in front of her. Slowly, carefully, she filled the spoon with the rich delight.

His call had surprised her yesterday, when he announced he’d be coming back from San Francisco a day early. She wriggled her toes higher up his leg, trying not to laugh as he squirmed. She’d chosen her outfit very carefully this morning. Demure didn’t begin to cover it. Prim? Prissy? That was closer. Navy blue slacks, a pale blue silk blouse buttoned to the neck and a navy blazer. Not quite a suit, but close enough. Of course, the thong beneath the slacks and the lace demi-bra under the blouse were anything but prissy. She’d sensed Randy’s eyes on her behind as they walked up the steps to the restaurant. And maybe his hand had slipped a little lower than the small of her back as he’d guided her to their booth.

She poised the mousse-laden spoon in front of her mouth, parting her lips a fraction. With her other hand, she fingered the pearl button at her neck.

“It’s warm in here, isn’t it?” One button, then a second, slipped through its hole. Randy leaned forward.

“You’re killing me,” he whispered.

Her tongue wrapped around the mousse. Her eyes closed. She sighed.

“You’re going to finish that, aren’t you?” he asked, resignation in his tone.

Without opening her eyes, she said, “Every bite.”

He blew out a long, slow breath.

She met his gaze and smiled at his obvious annoyance. “It’s chocolate. Some things shouldn’t be rushed.”

Can you see the difference? Which works better, and why?

Happy July 4th

What I'm reading: Taking the Fifth by J.A. Jance

What I'm writing: Revised opening scene and Chapter 2

Wishing everyone a safe and happy Fourth of July. We usually have a quiet day. It's too hot to spend time outside, and besides, we can step into our driveway and watch theme park firework displays for free. In honor of the holiday, I've posted a short story about a special birthday party on my Free Reads section of my website. It's written from a child's point of view, something different for me. There's a new contest for July, too.

Speaking of point of view, after re-evaluating my opening scene for my next book, I decided (ok, both my critique partners suggested and my editor agreed) it needed to be written from Sarah's point of view, since she's the character with more at stake in the scene. Randy just wants to get laid. That meant the second scene wasn't needed, so it was one of those days where you write and end up 100 words behind where you were the day before.