Just Romantic Suspense, and Editing

Today I'm over at Just Romantic Suspense talking about the differences between mystery and suspense, especially in the romance genre. I'm giving away a copy of Finding Sarah to one commenter (and if you have already read the book, I'm happy to gift it to someone you choose should you win.)

click to enlarge (I hope)

I've been working on edits for my next Pine Hills Police story. I've mentioned it before, but for me, the best way to deal with this round of edits (the ones I do after I hit "the end" but before I send it off to the editor)

I print the entire document, because your eye will see things differently on paper. I change the font, again to fool the eye. To save paper, the first time I tried this, I printed the manuscript in 2 columns and found that added yet another piece of eye-trickery. You're not reading across long lines of print, and your eye will pick up even more since nothing is laid out the way it was on the screen. I also reduce the font size slightly—my intent is to read this like a book, and books have smaller type, so it's not something totally out of the realm of what I'm used to.

How Many Drafts Does It Take To Make a Loaf of Bread?

First, to those celebrating, I wish you a very happy first night of Hanukkah.

Today my guest is editor Brittiany Koren. I had the pleasure of working with her when she was assigned as my editor for my first two Blackthorne, Inc. novels. In addition to editing for Tekno Books, she collaborated on five anthologies for DAW Books. She also created the White House Gardener series with author, Dorothy St. James, for Berkley Prime Crime. She recently started her own editorial business, Written Dreams.

And a brief update--Brittiany emailed me last night apologizing that her work schedule changed, and she won't be near her computer as often as she'd like today. But she's looking forward to reading and responding to your comments--it'll just be much later in the day than she'd hoped. 

Thank you so much, Terry, for inviting me to be your guest. I’m excited to be here!

Most writers, in my opinion, submit their manuscript too early to publishers, perhaps thinking editors at publishing houses will help them with needed revisions. Unfortunately, in today’s marketplace editors don’t have that luxury, and a manuscript rejected because it is not well-written. Revising is an important part of the writing process. Here’s my recipe for a well-revised manuscript…

So, you just finished your first draft. Congratulations! Finally, after months of hard work it’s time to submit to a publisher. Wrong. Your manuscript has only the broad strokes at this point. It’s time for your first draft revision.

Think of your manuscript as a simple recipe of white bread. You have flour (characters), yeast (plot), salt (climax) and water (setting) combined in a ceramic bowl. That’s your first draft.

What’s a good period of time to let your manuscript rise? A week to a month. As a writer, you need time away to distance yourself, and forget. This gives you an objective point of view to do the next stage in the writing process. Revision.

To Hyphenate or Not To Hyphenate?

What I'm reading: Deadly Currents, by Beth Groundwater

I'm slowly reaching the end of my copy edits for ROOTED IN DANGER. As I mentioned, just because this is the second editorial pass doesn't mean all the errors have been caught, so I have been reading the whole book. She's caught things that weren't picked up on the first pass, but I've also caught a few glitches that nobody else did.

For the most part, the editor's suggestions have been painless, and I agree with most of them. There are a few places where she's changed sentence structure, and it didn't work for me.

My mom's first language was German, not English, and her sentence structure often followed the Germanic patterns. Our family favorite: "Look for me in the bottom drawer for the pound cake."  Of course, my brother and I opened the bottom drawer and said, "Mom! You're in here!"

In one case, I'd written: She went into the bedroom closet and dragged the cardboard carton she’d brought with her to the bedside. 

The editor preferred: She went into the bedroom closet and dragged to the bedside the cardboard carton she’d brought with her.

Which would you prefer?

Editing: Who's on the Page? 2

What I'm reading: Bound by the Heart, by Marsha Canham

What I read while away: My Sister's Keeper, by Jody Picault, Passions for the Dead, & Dying for Justice, by L.J. Sellers

Thanks to Cricket for her Jessica Fletcher Syndrome post yesterday. I know I live in a small town and have never tripped over a dead body the way they seem to turn up in Cabot Cove.

WHEN DANGER CALLS is Book of the Day at eReader News Today. I hope you'll send some traffic that way.

To continue with previous posts on when editorial input becomes editorial intrusion, I submitted my changes to the editor, and said I didn't like her changing "asshole" to "jerk."

As in any writing where we're striving to create conflict and tension, the character needs to have a question or a problem. He needs a goal. As the author, it's our job to stand in the way of that goal.

In essence, there are three outcomes to any of these conflicts we throw at our characters:

1. Yes
2. No
3. Yes, but …

Roving Body Parts

Since my body parts are traveling today, and I recently read a blog with a very black and white view on how to deal with body parts, I thought I'd reprise this 2009 blog post. I don't have trouble with figures of speech, and if I'm reading that a character 'flew down the block to John's house' I don't see her mid-air. If someone writes "a lump of ice settled in her belly" I'm not seeing actual ice.


Do the eyes have it?



How do you react when you read things like this:

Their eyes met from across the room.

His eyes raked her body from head to toe.

There seem to be two schools of thought on this one. I'm on the side that doesn't mind. I understand that 'eye' can be used as a noun or a verb. "He eyed her" is acceptable. "He gave her the eye" is an idiom I have no trouble with. I don't see him extracting an eyeball and handing it to her. So if a characters eyes move, I don't get visions of eyeballs floating free.

Which side are you on? Would the following pull you out of the story?

Her blue eyes, enlarged by her wire-rimmed glasses, rambled from Colleen's head to her toes.

"What's wrong with my face?" Her fingers flew to her cheeks, and she pulled them away, studying them.


Yet there are those for whom those would be book-tossing offenses. Me, I see the eye movement in the first example, but the eyes remain firmly set in their sockets. In the second, my brain assumes the fingers are still attached to the hand, and I don't think about body parts floating in space.


If we took everything we read literally, a lot of the richness of the language would be lost. If his eyes are pools of molten chocolate, do we really think that he's got Godiva eyeballs? Or just deep brown eyes?

(That's a metaphor, I think – if his eyes look like pools of molten chocolate, that would be a simile, right?) I've never been good at remembering terminology. Metaphors, similes, idioms, hyperbole—they're things I use, but I don't worry about what they're called when I'm writing them.

At any rate, my editor said it's a house 'rule' to avoid using floating body parts. Apparently they want to avoid having books thrown across the room by readers in the 'I see eyeballs' group. I'm guessing they figure that those who don't mind won't notice. For me, however, substituting 'gaze' for 'eyes' in those situations gets tedious and repetitive. Which means I don't feel comfortable with a simple swap, and end up trying to rewrite the entire passage.

Chime in – what's your preference? Which group are you in?

Tomorrow, my guest is Cricket McRae who's talking about the Jessica Fletcher Syndrome. And I hope all my body parts will be home again.

Editing - Who's on the Page?

Thanks to Karla for her inspiring post yesterday.

Monday afternoon, I got the first edits for the second of my short stories for the upcoming anthology. Publication has been delayed well over a year, so I wanted to try to get them finished before I left for a visit to my parents in LA on Thursday morning, and hoped the edits wouldn't be extensive. The story is only about 9,000 words, so it's nothing like having to turn around edits for a novel.

I found that the editor didn't ask for any revisions, so all I had to deal with was either agreeing or disagreeing with her changes. For the most part, they were technical or style things. Dashes, commas, and some differences in dialogue tagging. Nothing major and nothing I didn't agree with.

But (there's always a but, right?) She did change a few words, and I really didn't agree with them. Really, really didn't agree. And, if you follow my Facebook page, you might have seen some of the discussion yesterday.

The story is a police procedural, told in first person by a seasoned homicide detective. Those of you who have been reading my blog for a while know that I researched all my cop stuff for all my books, and I talked to a variety of law enforcement officers. One of my first crit partners had been married to a cop for 20 years. I even had a cop read my story, and after making a few suggestions as to procedure, he proclaimed it "right."

So, this is my opening paragraph:

Editing: It's About the Big Picture, Too.

Don't forget, you have until Friday to leave a comment on Kris Bock's post and be entered in the drawing for her books, so scroll down. Also, in conjunction with my generous donor of copies of What's in a Name? I'm extending my donation until Sunday, so there's still time to help cancer research. Buy links here.

Late Tuesday afternoon, I got my first round edits from my new Five Star editor, for ROOTED IN DANGER, my 3rd Blackthorne, Inc. novel. So, it’s back to editing. And back to Track Changes.
First step was to go through all the ‘insertion/deletion’ points, which were virtually all things like punctuation. I did notice that she’s a ‘sparing use of comma’ person, whereas I tend to use them more liberally. Those are easy enough to accept.

Then I read through her comments and dealt with the easy ones first. I like her eye—she pointed out several places where I’d used the same word more than once in a brief passage, or was inconsistent with usage, such as having both R&R and R and R in the manuscript.

My heroine came from money, and I’d referenced the “Society Pages” in the manuscript. My editor questioned their existence, and I had to stop and poke around a bit, to see if newspapers still reported on the social scene. They do, but it meant a bit of tweaking to get the wording more up to date.

In several places, she thought a word or phrase I’d chosen didn’t suit the character or situation, but she merely pointed that out, and didn’t suggest more appropriate wording.

Edits, Edits, Edits

What I'm reading: The Sex Club by L.J. Sellers (and despite the title, it's a mystery, not erotica, or even a romance); Detachment Fault, by Susan Cummins Miller.

Another reminder – please check the Contest and Deals & Steals tabs above. There are some great bargains (and on a lot more than just my books).

This Just In: An article I wrote about characters is featured at the Guide To Literary Agents Blog. Please pop over. Please? And spread the word.

I've been dealing with edits for several projects lately, and they've all been different. I've got edits from a publisher, edits I'm doing myself, and edits from a professional editor I've hired. I thought I'd share.

First are the long-awaited edits for one of my mystery short stories which will be part of an anthology. This is one of two connected stories, but I've only received edits on the first of them.

These edits come from the publisher. I get a marked up document (using the dreaded "Track Changes"). Her instructions say to accept any changes I agree with, and leave Track Changes on for anything I add or change myself.

Upon opening the document, I discovered that most of her edits are changes in speaker tags. I figure it's easy enough to accept them, because if she can follow who's speaking without those particular tags, other readers shouldn't have any trouble.

(Hint, if you're not familiar with Track Changes: every time someone touches the document, it'll show up in the margin as an insertion or deletion. This means if someone changes "the" to "a", you have to approve the deletion of "the" AND the insertion of "a". This can be a royal pain.



However, if you highlight the section with the changes, and look at the "reviewing" toolbar, there's an icon that allows you to accept all the changes (both insertions and deletions) for the highlighted section. There's one that lets you accept them for the entire document, but I wouldn't want to do that at this stage of editing.




The editor also has comments in the margins, and a few "vague" suggestions, such as, "if you want to expand this section, we're OK on word count." Those are up to me to deal with as I see fit.

Order, Order

What I'm reading: Worth Dying For, by Lee Child

Anyone notice the new tab above? "Deals and Steals" - check for bargains and special offerings.

In conjunction with Read an eBook week, which runs from March 6-12, I'm offering WHEN DANGER CALLS for FREE at Smashwords. Use coupon code RE100. And don't forget to check out my March contest--an ARC of WHERE DANGER HIDES, the sequel to WHEN DANGER CALLS, could be yours.

Why I will never write out of order again.

If you've been following my posts, you'll know I've been working on edits for my WIP. This one is kind of a departure, because for the first time, I've given my villain a POV. Although this slides it across the mystery boundary into "suspense" territory, it seemed a given. The heroine is running from an abusive husband. She's got something he wants. Stands to reason he's going to be looking for her. There's nothing "secret" about who he is, and allowing him a few POV scenes can ratchet the tension.

Now, when I started writing (non-plotter, remember?) I didn't know I was going to bring Victor into the book at all, much less as a POV character. But about 5 chapters in, I hit a wall and letting him have his say seemed a way through it.

Side note: A lot of times, it helps to write something, even though it won't end up in the book. You need to get in touch with your characters, and this can help. The late Barbara Parker suggested this to me when we were talking about my early draft of Finding Sarah. I told her I'd been playing around with a short story based on Sarah's history with her husband before he died. She encouraged me—quite enthusiastically—to pursue it, saying that once I "knew" how Sarah felt, it would come through in the rest of the book. So don't shy away from writing—it falls under that "you can't fix a blank page" dictum.

Editing: The Next Step

Yesterday I mentioned printing out your document in two columns, using a font different from the one you use to write your manuscript. The advantages: Your eye sees things differently. First, the line breaks will come at different places. This means the words line up differently, and things you haven't noticed will jump out at you. Also, the narrower columns mean your eye can take in a whole "line" much more easily.

I also said I prefer to print it out single-spaced, and I use an 11 point font which is still easy to read, but saves paper. The idea on this read is to read the manuscript like a book. I'm reading for story. Here, I'll try to read in larger chunks. I keep my red pen handy, and a stack of Post-Its.

(Confession – I started this manuscript while we were in the process of moving, and didn't use my tracking board. So I was actually going back and doing a lot of what I SHOULD have done as I was writing – but either way, it gets the job done.)

And, because I hadn't used my tracking board, I read each scene and then summarized it on a Post-It. One thing I do leave in when I print the manuscript is the page break between chapters. This gives me room for my Post-Its and also any other notes I think will be helpful. I also decided that I'd never write another manuscript without my tracking system. Saves a lot of effort in the read-through.(And if you click to enlarge the images, you'll know why I don't write longhand!)

Back to the Edits

Wow! March already. I've got a new contest running, so check the Contest Tab above. And check out Daily Cheap Reads. WHAT'S IN A NAME? was a February Best Seller. Do you have a copy yet? Only $2.99 (click the 'books' tab for details)

Thanks to Rachel for her blogging tips. I'm guilty of rambling, even when I try to keep things short. In an effort to avoid posts that go on and on, I did manage to cut Monday's post "short" with a promise to continue.

When I closed on Monday, I pointed out that jumping from crutch word to crutch word doesn't mean you can simply hit delete. You have to check back and forth at least a few paragraphs.

For example, in my seek and destroy for 'just' (which bugs me when I find there are 208 of them, because I swear, I try not to type them at all), there are places where it's used for emphasis, or another character repeats it, and if you delete it in one place, you lose the feel for the passage. Here's why you need to look a little further. The heroine has just discovered that the hero is more than a single dad who flies rescue missions for the local fire department. She's met up with some of his covert ops teammates while they're trying to keep her safe.

This passage appears, and I debated cutting the "just": "Do you … did you … do stuff like Dalton and Ryan? With guns? Or were you just the pilot?"

But if I delete it, then the next sentence loses all meaning: He controlled the immediate reaction to 'just the pilot.'

Another Word Tutorial

What I'm reading: Death Roll, by Marilyn Victor and Michael Allen Mallory

Reminder: Today is the last day to take advantage of the 50% off coupon at Smashwords for When Danger Calls. Click the contest tab for the code.

Also: Did you notice the RomCon icon in the sidebar? I'll be at RomCon in Denver; would love to meet some of you, and maybe the $20 price reduction will help. Click the icon to register.

Last Wednesday,I mentioned going through the document for overused and weak words. Since it took me forever to figure out some of the Word features that make this easier, I thought I'd share them (just in case there are others out there who are as slow on the uptake as I am). I use Word 2003 (it works for me, and I'm afraid to upgrade), so if you're using a different version, you might find things are different.

Click Edit in the toolbar. Then "Find" (or the binocular icon instead). In that popup, there's a little box that says "Highlight all items found in … and when you check it, you should get a choice that says "Main Document." That's what you want. Then, type in the word you're looking for. Before clicking "find next" click the "More" button. You'll get choices that allow you to match the case, and also to select whole words, or all word forms. Depending on what you're looking for, you can check one of those boxes.

A Writer's Day

Thanks to Carolyn for yesterday's entertaining post. Remember, you can enter the drawing for her book through Friday, so if you haven't left a comment, scroll down and leave one under her post. And PLEASE pop over to SOS Aloha, where I was interviewed.

So, what do writers do all day? (Aside from sitting around in comfy clothes?) Here's a quick recap of all the things that count as 'writing' but don't get words on the page that I dealt with yesterday. This doesn't include the normal things like laundry, cooking, cleaning (ha!) or other non-writing tasks.

Check email – a given. More on dealing with it later.

Blog crawling. This falls under 'education and promotion' most of the time, and I don't hit all the blogs I subscribe to every day, nor can I leave comments on all of them.

Writing the next day's blog. Entails thinking of a topic, writing, uploading, looking for pictures, formatting. Tell myself to get farther ahead than one day.

Try to tweak Blogger template for the Retweet button.

Post a copy of yesterday's blog to the Savvy Author's site, since there was interest.

Discovering there's a "new" feature at the Kindle Boards that I haven't taken advantage of, so set up profiles for two of my books there. Not exactly sure where to link them, but here they are: What's in a Name? and When Danger Calls.

Over and Over and Overused Words

What I'm reading: Marrying Daisy Bellamy, by Susan Wiggs

First – I've learned that my next Five Star release, WHERE DANGER HIDES, the second in my Blackthorne, Inc. series, is available for pre-order at Amazon. If you haven't already read the first in the series, WHEN DANGER CALLS, you can get it at the discounted price of $1.50 at Smashwords by using the coupon code found in the Contest tab above. (Coupon expires at the end of February--don't wait.) But, even at full price at the Kindle store or All Romance eBooks it's only $2.99.

Second - after much trial and error, I've added the 'tweet meme' to this blog. If you find a post worthy of sharing, I hope you'll use it.

Okay, commercial over.

As a member of the Savvy Authors group, there's a nifty feature you can used, called "autocritter." You plug in a scene, or chapter, or more, from your manuscript and it calculates overused words. Now, we all have our personal crutch words, but this program is based on the specific overused words used in commercial fiction, so it will find not only overused words, but it tells you which ones need to be at the top of your hit list.

Revising in the Dark

What I'm reading: Love me to Death, by Allison Brennan

When you're an author, you sit and write the books in your head. Sometimes the story flows, sometimes it slogs, but you write. Most of us have critique partners or groups—people to bounce ideas off of, and to offer feedback on the WIPs. If they say they have trouble with a plot thread, or even the way you've worded a paragraph, the decision to change things is yours. But what happens when someone with more clout than a crit partner wants changes?

Late last week, I heard from my agent, who finally heard from the editor. We'd submitted a three chapter proposal last November, and, as happens so often in this business, we waited. And waited.

The news. Good and not quite so good. The good. The editor didn't say no. The not so good. She wanted me to revise.

How Do You Read?

What I'm reading: RITA Contest entries, #4 of 8

Only a day apart, the UPS man delivered the eight books I'm supposed to judge for the Romance Writers of America RITA contest, and the ARCs (Advance Reader Copies) of WHERE DANGER HIDES. I've got a lot of reading to do.

I'm a first round judge. While it's required that I read the entire book, I can read these as a reader—an educated reader, but still, I read them to see if I think the authors have created believable characters, plots that aren't forced, have met the expectations of the sub-genre, and if the author's voice shines through. These are all published romances, so one assumes there's a basic level of quality that got the book past the editorial gatekeeper to begin with. However, there's no denying that there's a vast range of quality in published books, and that the same book will be a great read for someone, and a chore to get through for someone else.

My bottom line, when assigning my score, will be influenced by how I felt about the characters. Was I glad to reach the last page, or did I want the book to keep going. Even more, did I want to spend more time with the characters. Will I be looking for them at the checkout line at the grocery store?

It's also a commitment to read books that I might not have picked up on my own. Sometimes, I'm pleasantly surprised to find a new to me author, in a genre I don't normally read. Sometimes I have to remind myself that there's obviously a market for these books, and take a deep breath to find the objectivity I promised to use when reading. These books, I read as quickly as I can, keeping the story in mind. I can usually finish a shorter book in under a day, so I'm starting with those, saving the meatier ones for my final reads.

Edits are NOT Revisions

What I'm reading: Slim to None, by Taylor Smith

Our upstairs has been fully renovated. For the most part, we were 'editing' what was already here. Replacing cabinets with new cabinets, flooring with new flooring, appliances with new appliances. But now, we're looking into remodeling the basement. Down there, we'll be revising. The exterior walls will remain the same, but inside, new walls will go up, doors will be relocated, the laundry room will move to a new location.

As I mentioned last week, I was working on revisions per my agent's suggestions. She offered copy edits, but then asked for revisions.

The writing process goes through countless phases. There's the initial writing—whether you're plotting things out in advance, flying by the seat of your pants into the mist, or a combination. Eventually, you'll get to "The End."

Maybe you're the sort who likes feedback along the way, and you weigh advice and edit as you go. Maybe you keep your work close to the chest, not being willing to share until the manuscript meets your personal standards of "suitably dressed to appear in public."

Get Off The Page

Normally, I eschew too much self promotion. But because this is my blog and I get to make the rules, here’s a review snip from Long and Short Reviews for NOWHERE TO HIDE (But don't worry--we'll get to writing in this post. Promise.)

Terry Odell creates characters that the reader can empathize with and cheer on as they cope with overwhelming challenges. She also writes a love scene that makes one apt to agree with Colleen that “sex rocks”. Her writing style is so smooth that she seems to disappear and the characters come alive so the reader is in the moment with what is going on.

Nowhere to Hide captivates and keeps one turning pages.

But, since it wouldn’t be right to spend the whole blog talking about a nice review, let’s look at it from the author’s standpoint.

Anyone care to gander a guess at what line in the review makes me the happiest?

Copyedits and Me

What I'm reading: Sizzling Sixteen, by Janet Evanovich
Thanks again to Mark Danielson for yesterday's post and photos.

Double-duty today. I'm also over at Author Expressions, so you get two blogs for one!

Picking up from Monday’s post:

Quick recap. Some differences between submissions, first-round, and copyedits.
Once your manuscript hits the editing phase, you should be fixing things, not changing things. This isn’t the time to do your searches for overused words, or clunky construction. That should have been done before you sent the manuscript off. When your first round editor sends comments, focus on what she’s said.

What do you do if you DO find a word or phrase keeps popping up as you’re dealing with first round edits? If you’ve got an understanding editor, you can probably make the changes. But do everyone a favor, and make sure those types of problems get noted so you don’t make them again. (Although you’ll find new crutch words will replace the vacuum you’ve created.)

Your first round editor might ask for more significant changes. In When Danger Calls, I’d carefully written around a scene I didn’t want to show on the page—a combat scene, and I wasn’t sure I’d get it right, so I had written a generic “seven minutes later when the gunfire stopped” kind of transition.

Nope, my editor said. She wanted those seven minutes on the page. That required writing, not fixing.

Back to the copyediting. Here’s my process (and it’s pretty much the same for both first round and copyedits):

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff

What I'm reading: 61 Hours, by Lee Child

Actually, what I'm really, really, really reading are copy edits for Where Danger Hides.

We spend a lot of time trying to ensure our work is perfect. Are my margins right? Correct font? Chapter headers starting in the right place? Should I use numerals or write out the words? Headers? Footers? Page numbers? How do I denote scene breaks? How many spaces at the end of a sentence?

We stress about rules—which are fixed in stone, which are flexible, and which are brittle enough to break. We worry about the details—too much telling, too many POV characters, too much head hopping. Does the plot hold true? Did I do enough homework? Are the details right, or will I look like an idiot putting Ponderosa pines where there ought to be spruce trees?